all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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