Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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