wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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