Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
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First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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