hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
