Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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