i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
