I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
