The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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