So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
