You really coming over, don't trick.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
