So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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