he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
