I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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