the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
