Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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