He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My dick has a subreddit
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
