Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
