ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize