I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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