you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
