Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
