Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
