big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize
