I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
honey bunches of taint.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
