mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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