He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
