turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize