last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Drunk is a universal language darling
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
