And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
