Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
What a dumb baby whore.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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