yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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