Don't you send me to vm
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize