Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
