I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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