Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
