Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
