why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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