You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
