Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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