just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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