Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize