I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
