I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
