dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There r osticjed everywhere
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
