I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize