You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
