She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
