So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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