My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
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Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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