I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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