how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think people are normalizing furries
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
