4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
