I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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