the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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