ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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