i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
