Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
