you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
