someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize