: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize