seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
