Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
