I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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