she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
