that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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