i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
