I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
