Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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